Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Munich Christmas Adventure: The Beer Hall Story

There are many many beer halls (brauhaus) in Munich and many stories to go with them. This one, while crude, is still pretty funny.  WARNING: Story may not be suitable for small children or the easily disgusted.

The beer halls are huge places with simple tables and benches where men would gather to eat, drink and be merry. They were very popular and always crowded so getting up to go to the bathroom could mean losing your seat or worse than that . . .  your beer.

So an enterprising young Barvarian set out to solve this dilemma by installing a gutter under the tables for this very purpose. As our guide said, "the men would put down the leder, take out the hosen and use the gutter underneath the tables".

Now this worked for a time with one very disgusting problem - splashback.

Time for another enterprising young Barvarian to think of a solution. This time, it was the use of the walking stick. The gentlemen about to 'put down the leader and take out the hosen' would first tap each man in the legs under the table, which would signal that they should lift their feet to avoid a nasty splash. Ingenious those Germans, huh?

This also worked for a time, but the men got tired of the bruises on their shins from the walking sticks.

Yep, another enterprising young Barvarian to the rescue. He figured out that you could carve a spiral groove down the length of the walking stick and then, if positioned just so, one could relieve the hosen and not splash his drinking buddies.

Can you just imagine? The smell must have been just awful. Luckily, indoor plumbing eventually made it's way to Germany!

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