Worst Delivery EVER

If you're a regular reader, you've no doubt heard many a tale of the challenges we have getting things delivered to the house - the fedex guy, the furniture delivery folks, taxis, etc. Well, here's another one and without embellishing, it really is the worst so far (really hoping the worst ever).  On to the story ...

Twas the night before Christmas ... no seriously, it was Christmas eve and we were packing up to spend the holiday in South Africa. We had dutifully eaten ourselves out of house and home in preparation so decided to order in for dinner. Now, we don't often order in - in fact, I can only remember one other time and that was another such story with Dominos that I've blogged about in the past. But, always hopeful for a positive outcome (and starving), I set out to order some food.

SIDE NOTE (but relevant to the story). We had taken our car to the mechanic earlier that day to repair a hose or bearing or something that was making a noise in the car. So, we're without a car and starving - with me so far?

I logged on to a website called Food On Click, which is perfect for me as I hate to talk on the phone and this service allows you to order your food online. I carefully choose my area and up popped the 3 restaurants that deliver to our neighborhood. Placed my order, all set, website tells me 30 minutes, great.

(30 minutes passes) Phone rings.
"Madam, you place order?"
"yes"
"where you located?"
"Al Seef compound, villa E07."
"Al Seef compound?"
"yes, take Salam St to the Ministries complex exit and turn right before you get to the roundabout"
"Salam St?"
"Yes"
"okay, no problem"

(15 minutes pass) Phone rings.
"Madam?"
"Yes?"
"Where in Ministries complex?"
"Not in the Ministries complex. Take the exit and turn right before the roundabout."
"Ministries complex?"
"Not in the Ministries complex. Al Salam St, Ministries complex exit, right before the roundabout"
"You know Al Hilal Bank?"
"No, where is that?"
"Ministries complex, maam."
"Okay, that's too far. Come back towards Abu Dhabi, near the Brighton college."
"Abu Dhabi? Are you from Dubai?"
"no"
"is the villa new?"
"no"
"are you new?"
"no, I've lived here almost a year."
"maam, can you meet me at Al Hilal bank?"
"no, I don't have a car"
...

This went on for an hour (okay 5 minutes) and ended with "okay Madam, I coming"

(15 more minutes pass) Phone rings.
"Hello?" (different voice this time)
"Yes?"
"Yes, I talked to the driver and the customer doesn't know where she lives."
(!!??)  "umm, I'm the customer and I do know where I live."
"Oh, sorry madam. The driver says he cannot find you."

I explain again where we're located and he says, "okay Maam, no problem"
Over the next 15 minutes, I receive probably 3 more calls from the driver, each more frustrating than the last. I'm starving and really starting to lose my patience.

(15 more minutes pass - are you counting? It's been nearly an hour now). Phone rings and I beg Brian to answer it this time as I'm no longer capable of maintaining my composure. I hear Brian repeat the same directions again and again and at one point say, "yes, I do know where I live, you must not know this area"

This continues for about another 20 minutes and the last call comes directly from the restaurant and we cancel the order. Even if the guy can find us, by this point our hot food has been riding around on the back of a scooter for almost 90 minutes. Meanwhile, I'm starving (and those of you who know me know that it's in everyone's best interest not to let me get to the starving stage) and we've got to start thinking about heading to the airport. We ultimately decide to go early and have dinner in the airport.

And then we make a pact that in the future we'll only order food from the places that have dropped flyers off at our door as we know they've at least found us once!


I really should mention that there are many very positive and successful interactions in UAE as well. It's just that, well, those stories aren't as entertaining. ;)

Meeting Tiger Woods

Okay, I admit we didn't actually meet Tiger Woods, but we did get to watch him play some golf from about 20 feet away ... and I decided that was close enough to warrant the title. ;)

Thanks to a friend from work, Brian and I got free passes to the HSBC Abu Dhabi Golf Championship this weekend. We're not big fans of golf really. In fact, we know next to nothing about the sport, but it was a beautiful day and Tiger Woods was playing and the tickets were free ... why not?

We decided to taxi to avoid the lines and parking hassle and ended up with a real jerk of a driver who drove past a half mile of lined up cars and butted in about 5 cars from the front. He then started laughing. I told him he was being pretty rude, but was secretly happy we didn't have to wait in line.

We showed our badges and entered the grounds. AD golf club is beautiful and the day was sunny and bright, and really warm. We walked around a bit trying to get our bearings and then realised Tiger and Rory McIlroy were playing right behind us! We snapped a few photos, followed them for a few holes and then headed to the falcon club for some lunch. We had planned to go back out after lunch, but by then we were full, hot and already had our photos of Tiger so decided to head home. I mentioned we're not really golf fans, right? :)

Haggis & tattis & neeps, oh my!

Last night, our Scottish friends, J & A invited us to Burns Night at their house, where we celebrated a traditional Scottish holiday with 14 of our good friends. Burns night is a celebration of the Scottish poet Robert Burns, whose birthday is 25 January. It is considered a National holiday in Scotland and in some parts of Ireland. The celebration centers around a dinner, as most holidays do, and includes grace, a number of toasts, traditional food dishes and at the center of it all ... haggis.

To my American readers, I'm guessing you probably have heard the same rumors that I have about haggis ... that it's weird, made up of nasty sheep parts, and not something you want to taste in your lifetime. Ranks right up there with tripe and rocky mountain oysters really.

Haggis - I was faced with a dilemma and thought before making any rash judgements, I should try to learn a bit more about what haggis actually is. Thinking A a reputable source of information, I asked him about a month ago as we were discussing the upcoming dinner. He told me that what I'd heard was false rumor and that haggis is actually an animal found only in the highlands of Scotland. Now, maybe it was the glass of beer I was working on or maybe he's just a really good liar, but I believed him instantly and asked questions about what it looked like, where it lived, what it ate.

Hook. Line. and Sinker.

Almost 3 weeks later, it was confirmed that he was pulling my leg and haggis is actually:

"a traditional pudding made of the heart, liver, etc., of a sheep or calf, minced with suet and oatmeal, seasoned, and boiled in the stomach of the animal" (thank you Wikipedia)

See, and here's yet another example of how we all speak English, but don't speak the same English. To call this a "pudding" just doesn't seem right, and what exactly is "etc."? (I'm guessing it's best not to know.)

So off we went to Burn's night to taste the haggis.

The Burns night supper actually follows a traditional agenda (see link below for more detail if interested) and is really fun, interesting, and well, Scottish. The evening started with a welcome from our hosts, J & A, and then a traditional Scottish grace, which I found on wikipedia and include below because it'll give you an idea of the Scottish language.

Some hae meat and canna eat,

And some wad eat that want it;

But we hae meat, and we can eat,

And sae let the Lord be thankit.

Next up was the Entrance of the Haggis. It's a bit like the entrance of the Figgy Pudding at traditional Wassail dinners. The haggis is displayed on a plate and walked around the table so everyone can admire it (or maybe prepare themselves to have to eat it).  We then all filled our glasses with a shot of traditional Scottish whisky in preparation for the toast to the haggis. (And just so you don't think I've lost my ability to spell, Scottish whisky is spelled without an e - it's the "fake" American whiskey with an e that we were told to stay away from by our Scottish whisky connoisseur. :)

The highlight of the evening then was the Address to the Haggis, which is a poem by Robert Burns, singing the praises of the haggis and presented with appropriate drama and flair by our host, A. You can find the poem in the link below if interested. I'm glad I found it because hearing it only once, I caught about 25% of the poem as it's also in Scottish brogue. At the end of the Address, we tossed back our shots of whisky, and as my friend K said on Facebook, that's probably so you can later eat the haggis. :)

The address to the haggis was followed by a Toast to the Lassies by one of the guests, which was full of funny jokes and references to the audience. Then a response Toast to the Laddies, which was written as a poem and presented by another of the guests and included references to each of the husbands present. And then it was time to dig in. ... oh boy

The main meal was haggis, tattis (mashed potatoes) and neeps (mashed turnips) - traditional Scottish fare and I have to admit, quite good. The haggis tastes a bit like meatloaf if you mashed it up into mince and added some sausage and oats. It didn't taste at all strong like I was expecting and it's not served in any casing. It's cooked in the casing, which is removed before serving. It was good really. I'm not sure I'm going to rush out to the grocery to find some, but I definitely won't hesitate to attend Burn's Night next year.

A huge thank you to J & A - it was a lovely evening!

Burns Supper Info - Wikipedia

The World of Work: 4 months and 19 days

I've now been employed with Etihad for 4 months and 19 days. No, I'm not counting, it's just my fascination with scorecards that got me to download a countdown app and that's how the app tracks time. And at this time, I thought it a good idea to take stock and share a little of what I've learned these past 4 months and 19 days.

Some things are the same: blackberry texting in the middle of a training class; major projects started with no consideration of the resources needed to pull them off; assumptions made with the best of intentions; and dedicated staff willing to help out wherever they can.

I work with a great group of people - passionate about what they do and willing to laugh at themselves whenever needed. There are 7 of us in the office - South African, Scottish, Egyptian, 2 Indian, Emirati and me. We work hard and laugh hard and that's just the way I like it.

And then there are the differences, which really make coming to work each day an adventure.

Class Attendance: Back at TDS, we had trouble with cancellations and no shows for our classes, but those issues don't hold a candle to what I've experienced here.  Cancellation often happens last minute, if at all, and more often than not, participants just decide not to show up or let us know about it. My worst experience was a class scheduled to have 11 and 5 showed up. Frustrating for me, the students and certainly not the best use of our resources. The good news is that the employees who do show up are incredibly appreciative and really want to learn. Almost every set of evaluations includes a suggestion that we make the class LONGER and that we build in more role plays!! Unheard of back home.

Voicemail: As I've mentioned in other posts, VM doesn't really exist here for cellular (I mean, mobiles) and land lines are few and far between and rarely, if ever, have voicemail. At work, we all have Cisco IP phones configured with voicemail, but no one uses it. The common practice is to ring someone and hang up before it goes to VM, then when the recipient gets back to his desk, he checks his missed call log and rings you back. It took me a few bewildered conversations to realise that even if I leave a VM, no one will listen to it - they'll just ring me back instead. So, I've adapted.

New Buzzwords: Working with so many different nationalities exposes me to a whole new set of corporate buzzwords. So much fun is this comparison that we've started capturing the phrases on a whiteboard in our office. Here's a sample of what we've collected so far:

• Do the needful - my personal favourite - usually accompanies a request of some sort and asks the recipient to do what's needed to fulfill the request
• Kind Regards - standard closing to most emails. The US practice of closing with "thanks" or something similar is rare here (except for me who can't break the habit).
• Agree objectives - the word agree isn't followed by with "on" here. So you agree timescales; agree work streams or agree decisions. Took a little getting used to and I still slip back from time to time, but for the most part, I've adapted to this one too.
• Pitch up - My colleague came back from training frustrated because she had 6 registered for a class and only 2 "pitched up". I figured out with some questioning that this is the equivalent of 'showed up' ... and then it went on the whiteboard.
• For Africa - apparently this is commonly used in the UK and South Africa when referring to an excess of something. For example, we've got enough printouts here for Africa; she's got enough problems for Africa. My theory is we don't use this in the US cuz it's as big as Africa, so we'd have to say "we've got enough printouts for the US" ... and that just doesn't have the same ring to it.

It's fun and luckily I'm surrounded by co-workers willing to explain the things that don't make sense and happy to make fun of me when I do something "really American". Just the other day, a co-worker said she met someone "way more American than you, Renee". This other woman was apparently from Boston and "full on" to use her words. A bit loud, obnoxious and annoying by the sounds of it. So, I gave the her a short briefing on East Coast vs West Coast vs MidWest and that seemed to clear things up a bit. :)

Credit Card Fraud!

Yes, it's well documented that I have a tendency to embellish my stories, and I will admit that the title of this post could be considered an exaggeration. A better title would probably be, "Credit Charge default not in my favor", but let's face it, if that were the title, you probably wouldn't be reading the post right now.

We have a US Credit Card that accumulates points like most others. We use it a lot and then pay off the balance each month so we can earn points to use for things like ... travel (you knew that was coming, right?) The challenge we sometime have here in the UAE is that the credit card machines want to charge us in USD, rather than the local currency, which is AED (dirham). And when this happens, because of the exchange rate, we end up paying more for our stuff ... which we just don't like to do. Now, this practice a) isn't a default on all credit card machines, and b) can be easily overridden ... if the cashier is paying attention. And believe me when I tell you that's a big IF.

After finally understanding how this all works and realising that it's in our favour to watch out for this 'fraud', I've become vigilant. And good thing too because it happens often.

My first attempt to fix the problem was at a shoe store. You can see on the receipt that you've been charged in USD rather than AED and I pointed this out to the cashier, asked them to void the transaction and run it again to charge me in AED. BLANK STARE. I calmly explained again, pointing out the reference on the credit card slip thinking, "maybe he's a visual learner".
The response? "yes, madam, it is charged in USD."
"I know, but I need it to be charged in AED. Will you please void the transaction and run it again?"
"You want AED, madam?"
"yes, please."
"But it charged in USD. This is the conversion."
"Yes, I know, but I want it charged in AED."
"it is AED."
"uh, no, see, it says right here that it's charged in USD."
"that's how it charged, madam."
"yes, I understand, that's why you need to void it and run it again at AED."

(you get the picture)

After about 20 minutes, a call to the manager (who was on his lunch break) and a comment or two that the difference wasn't that much, they finally voided the transaction and ran it again ... and we got our 10 cents back. :)

I've re-played this scene at least 5 times in the last 2 months and have to go through it every time I grocery shop at Lulu in Mushrif Mall. Last weekend, I tried a more proactive approach (AGAIN) at Lulu and told the cashier to make sure it was AED when I handed him my credit card. "yes, of course, madam." Once again, it was charged in USD, and once again, it took almost 20 minutes to get the situation rectified. At the end, the manager told me to tell the cashier to ring it as AED when I hand over the card ... took me 3 tries to get her to understand that I had and it didn't make any difference.

I suggested (in a nice way, I promise) she give her staff some additional training.

And I know what you're probably thinking "all that hassle for 10 cents?" but it's the principle. We live in UAE and get paid in AED - we should be able to purchase in AED as well. And why should the hypermarket get my extra 10 cents every time I shop when I could be putting those pennies to good use ... like paying for our upgrades into business class on our next vacation? :)